New Beginnings: Dating After A Life of Abuse

Dec 6, 2022

Markia Brown

There is life after abuse. But is there love?

Laura Charanza is doing something bold, something daring, something brave…she’s dating again, and this time, she’s taking us along for the ride.

laura charanzaThis January, Laura’s new book, The New Truth About Dating, will show us the good, the funny, and the terrible on the latest journey in her life: finding love after healing from an abusive relationship.

Ugly Love & New Beginnings

Laura’s love story starts well before the first page of her latest book. To honestly tell her story, we’ll have to go back to her first book, Amazon bestseller Ugly Love: A Survivor’s Story of Narcissistic Abuse.

Laura Charanza is a former television news journalist, having worked for CBS and ABC affiliates across the country. She’s a #boymom. She’s an accomplished author and public speaker.

She’s also a survivor of 40 years of narcissistic abuse.

From realizing one of her parents was a narcissist to coming to terms with the fact that she married one, Laura told her story beautifully and empoweringly. She not only lived through such a traumatic experience but also chose to share her story with the world, which requires an enormous amount of strength that she attributes largely to her faith and wanting to help others. Laura said, “my strength came when I hit rock bottom, and there was nowhere to go but up. And I thought, maybe if one person can benefit from my story, what I’ve been through, I might as well share it.”

And share it she did.

In 2018, the release of her first book inspired so many people with her survival story that it cracked Amazon’s Top 500 self-help books list. But that wasn’t the end of her journey.

It took her five years to leave her ex-husband, but her story didn’t stop with leaving. It was only the beginning.

Are You Ready To Start Dating?

Dating post-COVID is a daunting task by itself. Dating post-COVID after abuse? Downright terrifying.

So, how do you learn to trust again? How do you know you’re ready?

Laura’s short answer: “You’ll feel it.”

One of the things Laura addresses in her upcoming book is the importance of healing before looking for love. After all, how can you tell someone else how you want to be loved if you genuinely don’t know? “What makes dating a mess is the junk you’re carrying from your past, triggering you,” she says. “If you bring all that junk to the table and both parties have too much, there’s no room left for you to build on.”

In The New Truth About Dating, Laura says that the most significant indicator that you’re ready to date is that you feel ready to date. “You don’t have to give them your heart on the first date,” says Laura. “But the only way you’ll truly know you’re ready is by exploring those feelings.”

Red Flags Don’t Change Colors

A part of Laura’s healing process was identifying the habits and personality traits of a narcissist that she ignored in her relationship. Not to beat herself up but to know what to do the next time she comes across someone with those habits and traits. In her latest book, through a collection of her stories, tips, and general dating advice, Laura addresses some of those red flags. “Red flags are warning signs. Things like love bombing and being overly controlling, in hindsight, I see it for what it was. But what does it look like at that moment? What do you do?”

Laura uses her dating experiences as teachable moments to be candid about the reality of dating and not what social media tends to romanticize. She talks about being ghosted, her brief online experience, and how she can keep her optimism about finding love after bad dates. She empowers readers by teaching them how to handle rejection, not be so vulnerable early on, and, most importantly, how to enjoy the journey.

Want more tips?

Laura’s latest book, The New Truth About Dating, will be available on Amazon this January! Just in time for Valentine’s Day.

Can’t wait for the book?

Laura just launched her self-titled YouTube channel. In her videos, Laura discusses topics such as recognizing narcissism, leaving behind toxic relationships and dating.

Visit her website here!


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