The Power of the Pause: Dr. Moniek Garside on Choosing Yourself in a World That Never Stops

In a culture that celebrates hustle, productivity, and constant motion, the idea of slowing down can feel almost rebellious.

We’re taught to keep pushing. Keep producing. Keep achieving.

But according to therapist, author, speaker, and newly minted doctor Dr. Moniek Garside, the very thing many of us are avoiding may be exactly what we need most.

Dr. Garside, author of The Power of Your Pause: From Autopilot to Awareness, has built her life’s work around helping people move from simply surviving to intentionally living. Through her experiences as a mental health professional—and through her own personal journey—she has discovered a truth that many people struggle to accept:

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is stop.

When Survival Mode Stops Working

For Dr. Garside, the concept of pausing wasn’t born from theory. It was born from necessity.

As an undergraduate student balancing school, work, internships, and personal challenges, she appeared to have everything under control. Behind the scenes, however, she was carrying unresolved trauma, family struggles, and emotional burdens that were slowly taking a toll.

“I looked like I was carrying it all,” she reflected. “But underneath, I was struggling.”

Like so many high achievers, she found herself operating in survival mode—moving so fast that she never stopped long enough to acknowledge what she was feeling.

Eventually, life forced her to do something she had avoided for years: pause.

That pause led her to therapy, healthier boundaries, deeper self-awareness, and ultimately a completely different relationship with herself.

“I created enough space to hear myself,” she said. “To trust myself. To choose myself.”

Why Rest Feels So Uncomfortable

Many people understand the importance of rest intellectually, yet still struggle to practice it.

Why?

According to Dr. Garside, the answer lies in how society defines value.

“We’ve learned that our worth is connected to productivity,” she explained.

From an early age, people are praised for achievement, accomplishment, and output. Rarely are they celebrated for resting, reflecting, or protecting their peace.

As a result, many individuals begin to view rest as something that must be earned rather than something that is necessary.

But Dr. Garside challenges that belief.

“Rest isn’t the opposite of productivity,” she said. “It’s what sustains it.”

Just as phones require charging and batteries require recharging, people require restoration. Without it, exhaustion eventually catches up.

The Hidden Cost of Staying Busy

One of the most common issues Dr. Garside sees in her therapy practice is what happens when people remain in a constant state of busyness.

The symptoms often appear differently for everyone, but the underlying patterns remain the same:

Anxiety.

Emotional exhaustion.

Irritability.

Disconnection.

And perhaps most concerning of all—the loss of joy.

“I hear people say all the time, ‘I’m doing everything I’m supposed to do, but I still don’t feel okay,’” she said.

Many people continue checking boxes and accomplishing goals while feeling increasingly disconnected from themselves. They push through stress, grief, disappointment, and frustration without ever taking time to process what they’re carrying.

Eventually, that emotional weight begins affecting every area of life—from concentration and decision-making to relationships and overall well-being.

Social Media and the Autopilot Trap

In today’s digital world, pausing has become even more difficult.

For many people, the first thing they do each morning is reach for their phone.

Before checking in with themselves, they’ve already checked notifications, emails, social media feeds, and news updates.

“Before we’ve even asked ourselves how we’re doing, we’ve consumed so much information,” Dr. Garside explained.

The result is a life lived on autopilot.

Rather than being intentional about where attention goes, people allow technology to dictate it.

Her solution isn’t abandoning technology altogether.

Instead, she encourages creating small, intentional moments throughout the day that are free from screens, distractions, and outside noise.

Even something as simple as spending the first few minutes of the morning checking in with yourself before checking your phone can begin creating greater awareness.

A Different Definition of Success

One of the most powerful moments in the conversation came when discussing the fear many people have of slowing down.

Some worry that rest will cause them to fall behind.

Others fear missing opportunities.

Dr. Garside posed a simple but profound question:

“Who are you behind?”

It’s a question that forces people to examine whether they’re pursuing goals that genuinely align with their values—or simply chasing expectations set by others.

Throughout her career, she has worked with individuals who achieved everything they once thought they wanted, only to arrive at their destination feeling exhausted, disconnected, and unhappy.

Success, she says, should never come at the expense of your well-being.

“It’s not about giving up on your goals,” she explained. “It’s about making sure your goals align with the life you actually want to live.”

Practicing What She Preaches

Ironically, one of Dr. Garside’s greatest lessons about pausing came while earning her doctoral degree.

During the process, she experienced a major setback when issues involving her dissertation chair forced her to restart significant portions of her research.

What could have become a source of overwhelming frustration instead became an opportunity to practice the very principles she teaches others.

Rather than immediately pushing harder, she stepped away.

She gave herself permission to process her emotions.

She leaned on her support system.

She established stronger boundaries around her time and energy.

Most importantly, she refused to carry the emotional weight of one difficult chapter into the next.

“It taught me that resilience isn’t pushing through at all costs,” she said. “It’s flexibility, boundaries, and self-awareness.”

The Five-Minute Challenge

As our conversation came to a close, Dr. Garside offered a challenge anyone can begin today.

Take five uninterrupted minutes.

No phone.

No television.

No multitasking.

Simply sit with yourself and ask three questions:

• How am I really doing?
• What do I need right now?
• What have I been avoiding that needs my attention?

The exercise sounds simple.

But according to Dr. Garside, simplicity is often where transformation begins.

And yes—it may feel uncomfortable at first.

That’s normal.

In fact, she says discomfort is often a sign that you’re finally beginning to pay attention.

Choosing Yourself

Perhaps the greatest takeaway from Dr. Garside’s message is this:

You do not need permission to pause.

Not from your employer.

Not from your family.

Not from society.

And not from anyone scrolling through social media.

The permission has always been yours to give.

In a world that constantly asks us to do more, be more, and achieve more, Dr. Garside reminds us that sometimes growth isn’t found in moving faster.

Sometimes growth begins the moment we stop long enough to hear ourselves.

And in that stillness, we may discover what we’ve needed all along.